Got a question on rule clarification, comments on rule enforcements or some memorable NHL stories? Kerry wants to answer your emails at cmonref@tsn.ca! Hey Kerry, I have a question on a video I watched not too long ago and thought maybe you can give some clarification and or give us some stories like always. So the video I saw was NYR vs BOS, during a timeout CNBC had a mic near NYR bench. Obviously Torts was unhappy (as always) and you can see him yelling at an official. However during the video you can clearly hear the official tell Torts "thats enough" then proceeded to swear at the coach. My question is, are the officials allowed to swear at the coaches? I was always under the impression that referees were supposed to be held at a higher standard than every other person on the ice. Seems odd that a ref would go as far as swearing at a coach who is already clearly heated in that type of situation. I understand the fact that everyone has their boiling points, and this official was getting tired of hearing Torts yelling at him. However isnt is the refs job to try and defuse situations rather than add fuel to the fire? Thanks again, love the articles Kory C ------ Kerry, There is a video circulating of a linesman yelling "Eff you" at John Tortorella. Judging by public image of the Rangers coach, he probably deserved it. On several occasions, you can read lips of the officials and phrases like "shut the eff up" seem to be pretty common. Im sure some guys do it more than others but Im wondering how common and accepted it really is for officials to swear at players and coaches? Thank you, Eugene Kory and Eugene, It is inappropriate for a referee or linesman to curse at a coach or player at any time! In the heat of the battle (and as emotions escalate), it is imperative that officials fight the human instinct to engage their perceived adversary. Instead, their objective should always be to defuse the situation by becoming part of the solution instead of part of the problem! The best way to do that is for the official to remain in control of his own emotions. That being said, have I ever slipped up and cursed at a player or coach? Absolutely! After all, there are times when we just cant fight off our human instincts. I must say, I learned very early in my career that to defuse hostile situations, I needed to remain as emotionally neutral as humanly possible. I also recognized that to be successful, I needed to develop positive relationships with players and coaches through appropriate forms of communication. From a state of calm, I attempted to exert control by creating a "win-win" situation wherever possible. I recognized that every player and coach had distinct and unique personalities and it was my job to figure out what worked best in dealing with them. Body language and tone of voice are two elements that need to be kept in check as an official enters a debate/confrontation. The first time I came to understand there was a better way in dealing with an out-of-control coach was when Bryan Murray was behind the Washington Capitals bench in the early 1980s. Bryan is an emotional guy and, at the time, led the league in bench penalties for his theatrics in protest of the officials decisions. During one game in the Cap Center, the coach was standing up on the dasher boards screaming wildly and waving his arms at me. I decided to try a different approach, since bench penalties didnt seem to be altering Bryans unacceptable behavior pattern. I approached Murray with both of my hands up in front of me with palms open (a sign of peace as opposed to a finger point) and my monotone voice only loud enough so that I could be heard as opposed to screaming back at the out-of-control coach. I took control of the situation by stating to the coach that I would like to talk with him but in order for me to do so, he must calm down and to please get off the dasher boards. Bryan immediately complied to my polite request as his emotional pitch conformed more toward the one that I had presented to him. At this point, I started the conversation by saying, "You might not agree with what I have to tell you but let me explain the reason for my decision on the play." I quickly and calmly communicated with the coach what I saw on the play. Murray listened intently and then paused for a brief moment as he chose his words to respond. Bryan said, "Well youre right about one thing, Kerry, I dont agree with what you just said but thanks for coming over and explaining it to me!" In Bryans post-game interviews, he said the dialogue that he and I had was the first time that a referee ever approached him at the bench to provide an explanation and he really appreciated it. That incident taught me a huge lesson in relationship building. I also found that it was important for me to think of what I was going to say and actually hear myself before opening my mouth. When my emotions would start to rise and my voice got louder, I would take a breath in an attempt to return to centre or neutral. I can recall stopping in mid-sentence during a heated debate with a player and saying, "Im sorry I just said that; let me rephrase, what I meant to say was..." I learned the hard way it was much better to adopt the philosophy as a referee to "treat disrespect with respect" than to engage in or attempt to win an "Eff you" contest. I attempted to set acceptable and achievable limits for game participants similar to those I set for myself. Lastly, I tried not to take myself too seriously and to find humor in situations wherever possible. I learned that valuable quality early in my career as well when a team was getting their butts kicked at home and became extremely frustrated; especially with me. My response at the time, to their disrespect, was to assess misconduct penalties and as the score mounted near the end of the game, I had four players from the home team in the penalty box with 10s! The coach had enough of me as well and wanted to get thrown out of the game. He sent his captain over to me at the stoppage who very politely relayed a message for me. The captain said, "My coach wants to know if he can get a penalty for thinking?" Somewhat confused by the question, I responded by saying, "I guess not as long as he doesnt think out loud!" The captain then said, "In that case, he wanted me to tell you he thinks youre an Effing A#$%^&*!" I started to laugh, finding the humor in the statement. The coach, who was waiting for a battle response from me that never came, started to grin and then laugh as well. The game ended without further incident and a positive relationship blossomed with the coach. Sometimes you just have to find the humor in the situation, Torts! Yeezy 350 v2 Noir Et Blanc . This should be celebrated because it will not always be this way. With the amount of money given to players by their clubs these days, it is a wonder that so many of those teams allow the sport to continue to take away many of their assets so they can play for a different team in the middle of their season. Yeezy 350 V2 Black Non-Reflective Pas Cher . Ivanovic was leading 7-5, 1-0 when Hantuchova withdrew after falling 0-40 behind in the second game. The match started slowly for Ivanovic, who surrendered her first two serves as Hantuchova took a 5-3 lead. http://www.pascheryeezy350v2.fr/ . What general manager Dave Nonis called "short and productive" negotiations ended with Kessel signing a US$64-million, eight-year contract on Tuesday. Yeezy Boost 350 France . 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The Aggies then scored the next 13 points, capped by a 47 yard run by Trayveon Williams to make it 23-7 in the third quarter.There was a lot of good and a lot of bad, Texas A&M receiver Josh Reynolds said. Theres still a lot of things that we can fix, but ultimately we were moving the ball and scoring.UTSA (5-6) was led by Jared Johnson, who threw for 186 yards and a touchdown.Garrett was finally healthy after missing two games and being limited in several others because of a high ankle sprain. Garrett finished with eight tackles, broke up a pass and forced a fumble. Instead of limping as he has been in recent weeks, Garrett was harassing UTSAs two quarterbacks all game.He further showed his ankle is fine when he batted down a pass in the second quarter and celebrated with a spirited dance. He had another big play in the fourth quarter when he sacked Johnson to force a fumble, which A&M recovered.You can see the difference, Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin said. Hes a dominant player when hes 100 percent.Garrett has 8 1/2 sacks this season to give him 32 1/2 for his career, making him the eighth player in SSoutheastern Conference history with at least 30 career sacks.ddddddddddddThey are phenomenal at the defensive end position, UTSA coach Frank Wilson said. We tried to do various things to keep them off balance, and assist with blocking with tight ends, but there were a couple of times where Myles Garrett and the other defensive end were able to get beyond us and were disru